Underlying Roar

3 04 2013

I started walking for exercise again. After the twins were born I made a promise to myself that I would get outside every day for some exercise and I did for over a year. Then life fell apart and I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. As I started fighting it, “IT” started fighting back and much of the joy in my life got overshadowed by a chronic disease that I knew very little about. I feel a rebirth coming with the rebirth of our landscape. As the days lengthen and temperatures, hopefully, are on the rise so are my spirits. (I say hopefully because today is quite chilly, mid 30s, and feels suspiciously like January.) I guess the spring and I have that in common, we know something new and wonderful is on the horizon and some days it is more apparent than others. I believe I am on the cusp of recovery but the last month has not been easy. I have a variety of symptoms and some days have been comparable to some of my worst, yet, I still feel that the next thing to come is healing. On the darkest days it is hard to keep the faith, on the good days my soul is full of hope.

I started walking. I went for my fourth walk this morning. I walked a mile. It is my physical therapy and my mental therapy all rolled into one. I need time outside to work through my feelings of betrayal and to reignite my passion for nature. The cold wind on my face, the sound of it roaring in my ears I can still sense. It is the that underlying roar and the idea that I am strong, a fighter, that is reminding me to keep the faith today.

Hello Again!

2 04 2013

It is time to dust off this blog and start posting again. A lot has happened in the years since I last wrote. We have three adventurous children; an almost 4 year old daughter and almost 2 year old boy/girl twins. We moved to our new home and have begun to make it feel like our own. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease last fall and have been on a long journey to recovery.

Starting a family and having three young children is challenging and full of surprises and sunshine having Lyme is challenging and often murky and dark. My foundation was built on the bedrock and rooted in natural world. I always feel a sense of peace and connection to the universe when I am outside. This foundation has been shaken, the roots damaged and the connection is fading. I feel betrayed by the very world that nurtured me. I no longer look out the window and day dream about the adventures that exists into backyard because I look out through vision clouded by suspicion and mistrust.

There are many aspects to recovery and so far I have done a good job addressing the medicine and supplements. However, I have not taken the steps necessary to begin to heal my heart and soul. This blog is now morphing into a vessel to help me on my journey. I will write about Lyme, family, and how I am taking small steps every day to heal my deepest wounds.


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